The Allure of Assimilation.
What is assimilation exactly? A Google search brings up terms like “absorption”, “taking in”, and “resembling”. An image search yields a red stick-figure facing a row of grey stick-figures, diligently slathering each one with red paint. Apparently that is the goal - looking just like the guy in power. The problem is that resembling the red guy is not the same as becoming red. The paint is only skin deep - we are still grey just beneath the surface. And no matter how many coats you apply, the paint will eventually chip.
Case and point: The only vacation I ever took with both my parents was to DisneyLand. Our friends (fellow immigrants) lived in Los Angeles, and they were going out of town. So we drove to LA and stayed in their apartment. I don’t remember much about that trip, but I have a few telling photographs. I begged my father to let me try the camera, and I have an off-center shot of my parents to show for it. There’s also an awkward photo of me with one of the cartoon characters. Now, keep in mind that we weren’t exactly typical media consumers. We didn’t have paid cable and only watched movies that were available at the library. So who was I excited to see at the happiest place on earth? Not Mickey - I didn’t know who that was. Not even Cinderella - I’d only seen the 80s live-action version. Nope, I have a photograph of me with… wait for it... Woody the Woodpecker! I was allowed to watch cartoons in the morning, and Woody often kept me company while I ate my breakfast cereal. Thus went our assimilation. We grasped the larger cultural norms, but missed many mouse sized details.
Assimilation beccons, “come, be like us,” but what happens when a paint chip comes loose? Inclusion offers, “come, be with us”. I hope this virtual space gives all of us an opportunity to peel back the layers and get comfortable with whatever shade lies beneath. As for me, inevitably after 30+ years, much of the red has seeped in, but I’m learning to be proud of the places where grey shines through. I’m even uncovering a few patches where I’m just plain tired of reapplying.
Disneyland, 1991
(better you just imagine the woodpecker photo)
